The Person Who Pees All the Time (OR Trying to be a Good Person)

T: Maybe we should get a thing of Depends for this trip.

S: ...

T: But do you think Depends would hold a whole pee? Or are they just for little accidents? This is something I've been trying to figure out for awhile.

S: My inclination is to say yes, but.

T: Yes a whole pee?

S: Yes, but also I'm not sure. Adults pee a lot more then babies.

T: Right, I know! Also, if they held a whole pee, wouldn't people wear them all the time?

S: ...

T: I just mean on road trips. They'd be a standby. Like, a trip supply. Fuck, I knew I should have called the manufacturer before we left. Or we could have done a test. Like, a trial run.

S: We could do a trial run at the couchsurfing house but we'd probably get weird reviews.

T: Right. Like, these girls wear diapers.

(Break)

T: I just feel like people who know me think of me as the person who pees all the time. I don't want to be that person.

S: (Fails to ask T whether it's better to be the person who wears Depends)

T: Do you think they pull up, or velcro on the sides? This would make a big difference.

S: Which would you prefer?

T: Velcro on the sides. Because then you wouldn't have to take your pants off to get them off.

S: I think you almost certainly have to take your pants off to get the Depends off.

T: No, because why would they take a step back in diaper technology?

(Break)

T: You can't poo in Depends, that's for sure.

S: People do poo.

T: Oh! I thought it was just for pee. Well, if it can hold a poo, it can definitely hold a whole pee. Don't transcribe this part.

S: I have to. Full circle.

T: Oh. Yeah.